Position Yourself as a Pleasant, Powerful, Persistent Peer
A talented friend had her excellent leadership materials downgraded and disparaged by a low level gatekeeper who had deceptively renamed her topic.
In a discouraged moment she said, "I'll call her next week to see if we can reopen the discussions."
Ouch! By mentally positioning ourselves as subordinate supplicants and speaking from that perspective we give people power over us. Power that hurts us, power they do not deserve and should not have.
I bit my tongue and did not speak. These words screamed in my mind:
Our Mental Perspectives Determine the Positions Others Take - Position Yourself as a Pleasant, Powerful and Persistent Peer! Don't talk down to people or up to people.
Talking down to them puts them in a subservient position that is demeaning. Talking up to them as a supplicant hands your power over to them.
When you have to lean on people do it pleasantly and with a smile. Radiate lots of positive energy. Expect success.
Make It Clear Your Position will Prevail Assume the power to achieve your goal and success and you will have it.
Use Simple Clear Statements of Fact Do Not Try To Justify or Argue
"The page needs to be titled Leadership, how do we get this fixed quickly?" If there's resistance, continue... "Everyone will benefit from this change."
Find ways to show your opponent how they will gain from your request. Focus on benefits. Make it seem resistance is silly and counterproductive.
"I'm not going to argue with you. The Board and the Membership know the package as Leadership. The current title is deceptive and misleading." "Can you get it fixed fast or do I have to speak to someone above you?"
No need to get personal with words like your title. Give the other side wiggle room to reject the wrong along with you.
Focus on their resistance to comply with your request instead. "Why do you continue to defend a name that is clearly wrong, inaccurate and deceptive?
Leaders wouldn't look for their materials in that category?"
"I need to know you are going to change it right now, can I count on you to do it?"
If they don't comply escalate. "The Leadership materials need to be described as Leadership because that's what they are and that's how people know them. The current title is deceptive and misleading. This is a silly thing to argue about, let's get it fixed."
Be A Pleasant, Powerful and Persistent Peer
Copyright 2007, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. Email info at FightwithFinesse.com for reprint rights. Comment below!
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