The perils of not standing up for what's right and the importance of protecting integrity were shown in two stories a wise man told this morning. The first is a fine example of fighting with finesse, the second describes the dangers of not pushing back and then how to recover.
A little girl asked about the white hairs appearing in her mother's hair. When the mother said, "Each white hair comes from a time when you make me angry or worried" the little girl replied, "Is that why Grandmother's hair is completely white?" Push back positively!
The second and more poignant story was about a little boy who was given two new ties, a blue one and a green. He wore the blue tie the first day and his parents asked, "Don't you like the green one?" He didn't push back and say he just wanted to wear the blue that day.
The next day when he put on the green tie, his parents asked, "What's wrong with the blue tie, don't you like it?" Again, he didn't push back and say, "I wore the blue tie yesterday, I want to wear the green today." He tried too hard to appease people who were impossible to please.
The third day he wore both ties in frustration, they responded, "What's wrong with you, are you crazy?"
Sometimes to remain silent is to lie. - Miguel de Unamuno
Corporate environments often support managers who are impossible to please. Recognize their game, understand what to do about it.
See Managing for Mediocrity below.
The little boy with the two ties is actually in the better position. He has shown he is willing to try to get along and he has done his homework. The little girl could be faulted for a wise crack.
The little boy did what successful corporate managers often do. Go in with a low profile, watch, listen and learn all you can before you make decisions public. Then stand up smiling and push back in powerfully positive, appealing ways.
Name The Game Truthfully - Adopt an attractive, amusing tone and speak the truths everyone already knows to be evident. Avoid personal attacks and accusations.
Evil doers don't want to be exposed, public disclosure often stops them cold. Make jokes about their confusion about which tie to select when, their dishonesty, their inability to identify and pursue key goals, to lead in a clear, effective manner.
Emphasize the wasteful distractions their inane, dishonest antics present. Focus on what is truly important.
Shine Brightly. Above all, be the very best you can be. They want to demoralize and disable you, don't let them. Prepare your next move. Build public support for your leadership, integrity, abilities and insight.
Always Change A Loosing Game. Your ammunition is the data and documentation you have assembled about their operations. A 180 degree turn in strategy and personality derails the abusers, they don't expect it.
Changing your game cheerfully forces them to change theirs.
Integrity, like love, is most powerful when it is both constant and unconditional.
Copyright © 1999-2008, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, distributed or rewritten without written permission. Comment below.
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